My 2020 in consumption

Two years ago (time flies!), I shared a list of media I consumed in 2018 and highlighted some favorites. My intention was to make sure I remember and reflect on the things I spent so much time consuming. It was really fun, and having friends reach out to gush and share obsessions was sweet.

In 2020, just like a lot of people, I spent most of my time inside, extremely numb, and have coped by hyperfixating on shows and movies and holding on to whatever emotions these things can offer. It feels in some ways regressive and in other ways comforting, because media is neat. Because of all that, I especially wanted to make sure I did it again.

So here it is. When comparing this year’s list to 2018, I noticed that even though my list was longer, I didn’t have as much to say about each one (according to Medium, this is only a 14 minute read and 2018 was 21 minutes). I’ve realized that I’ve just become a less verbose and emotional person — this is likely because I’m more mentally stable, but it’s strange because sometimes I wonder if I’m too numb, and I start to miss that whole thing of feeling everything deeply. And then I wonder if maybe this is just because of the pandemic, or I remember that being overemotional is actually not all that great, so I’m conflicted. Ha. I dunno how to describe this in greater detail. I will probably write something longer about this when I figure it out.

Anyway. Again, every category is in chronological order. Bolded items are things that I either strongly recommend or just have a fun story about. And if you have any thoughts on these, feel free to say hi and tell me. :)

Here are the categories I used in 2018, some of which aren’t relevant this year but I’ll use them for continuity’s sake:

1. Books
2. Movies/TV
3. Concerts/Events
4. Video Games
5. Podcasts
6. Food
7. Music

Books

I included manga on this list because why not.

1. Murder on the Orient Express, Agatha Christie
2. Little Fires Everywhere, Celeste Ng
3. 9 volumes of Tokyo Ghoul, Sui Ishida
4. Haikyu!! (manga), Haruichi Furudate
5. Killing Stalking (manhwa)
6. On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous, Ocean Vuong
7. Chainsaw Man (manga), Tatsuki Fujimoto. This series is just straight-up good. Jasmine got me hooked on it. The story is a neat mix of humor, action, and supernatural (devils and zombies and stuff)— I would say that the first 40 chapters are a bit dark and the protagonist takes time to get used to, but after that he grows a lot, and it just grabs you and doesn’t let go and keeps twisting and turning. And the art is really good. Here’s a spoiler-free example:

Movies / TV

I got a lot more into anime this year, so if you’re not interested in that I tagged all of them.

1. Once Upon A Time in Hollywood
2. Uncut Gems. I saw this in theaters with Michael D and I haven’t been the same since. Dear God: why is Adam Sandler…?
3. Weathering With You. I miss seeing movies in packed theaters because you can feel everyone around you reacting and feeling together. The story was meh, but the animation was beautiful. It was a fun night.
4. Booksmart
5. Toni Morrison: the Pieces I Am
6. Okja. I’m realizing that a lot of the movies on this list are ones I’ve watched with Michael. We watched this in my apartment while eating homemade spam grilled cheeese (which I highly recommend trying). Fun fact, the housekeeper in Parasite (Jang Hye-jin) voices the superpig.
7. Pete Davidson: Alive from New York
8. Present.Perfect. This is a documentary of found footage from Chinese livestreams. I watched it with Hongrui at the Northwestern art museum while drinking a latte that I had snuck into the theater. It was so unique and thoughtful and I super super recommend it.
9. To All the Boys: P.S. I Still Love You
10. Perfect Blue
11. Fleabag
12. Haikyu!! (anime). This is the thing I most attribute to the start of the pandemic. I watched 3 seasons alone, on my couch, in the span of 2–3 weeks, and have been super invested ever since. It’s just very fun and wholesome and has nice life lessons. I convinced my close friends to watch it and it’s genuinely helped make this year less horrible.
13. Ouran High School Host Club (anime). I have been changed. No further comments at this time.
14. Tigertail
15. Ex Machina
16. Demon Slayer / Kimetsu no Yaiba (anime). I’m a sucker for a found family.
17. Lady Bird. I’m also a sucker for coming-of-age and mother-daughter relationships.
18. Akira
19. A Sun
20. Yi Yi (一一). It’s long, but so detailed and resonating. It follows a large cast of characters with a wide range of ages, and in doing so creates the feeling of watching an entire life go by.

:(

adding that quote ruined my numerical bullets, but it was worth it. anyway:

1. Frances Ha. Magical and heart-wrenching :’)
2. Hotarubi no Mori e. Wrecked me in 40 minutes. I am still recovering.
3. The Half of It
4. Neon Genesis Evangelion (anime). There are parts in this show that I don’t care for, but there are also parts that rip my heart out, especially the older characters like Misato and Kaji who are figuring out what their priorities are in life.
5. Neon Genesis Evangelion: The End of Evangelion
6. Tokyo Ghoul, Tokyo Ghoul :re (anime)
7. Never Have I Ever. This show made me cry so much. It’s occasionally cliche, but I have a fondness for the protagonist’s flawed and more realistic personality. I enjoyed it a lot more than I expected to. I’m excited for season 2.
8. The Intruder (1962)
9. No Way Out (1950)
10. My Hero Academia (anime). Do I think this show is overrated? Yes. Did I watch the whole thing regardless? Unfortunately yes. Would I recommend it? Only if you’re looking for a timesuck lol. The individual characters are fun.
11. Millionaire Detective Balance Unlimited / Fugou Keiji (anime)
12. Free! Iwatobi Swim Club (seasons 1–2; anime). I’ve been watching this with my friends online and god it has made me cry laughing on three separate occasions out of sheer bizarreness. Do not seriously watch this show. We are just having fun with it.
13. When They See Us
14. A Silent Voice
15. Drinking Buddies
16. Love is Hard for Otaku / Wotakoi (anime)
17. Whisper of the Heart
18. 2001: A Space Odyssey
19. Portrait of a Lady on Fire. This movie is so memorable…the process of knowing another person, and the feeling of being perceived; the lack of the male gaze. “Do all lovers feel they’re inventing something?”
20. The Handmaiden
21. What If?
22. Cowboy Bebop (anime)
23. The Garden of Words
24. Chungking Express / 重庆森林。This movie spins you in circles and then gives you a hug. It’s listless and existential while still being heartwarming and comedic. A very specific type of chaos!

I mean, come on. Qiwu and his pineapple cans are an iconic mess.

1. Over the Moon
2. The Queen’s Gambit
3. The Wedding Banquet
4. Mob Psycho 100 (anime). This show has a weird animation style that quickly surprises and pays off. It also manages to present meaningful characters that experience genuine growth. And it’s funny. How did I cry twice while watching it. OH my god. Excuse me.

1. Soul
2. 以家人之名 (In the Name of Family) / Go Ahead. I’ve been taking Mandarin and started watching this C-drama with my mom to practice. It turned out to be really good! I thought the actors were all really good. It has nice themes on family and growing up and love and yadda yadda. Stuff like that.

Tu Songyan killed this role.

TV that I’m still working my way through

1. Natsume’s Book of Friends (anime). I’m only a couple seasons in. I will write a blurb next year when I finish. It’s breaking me already.
2. Chihayafuru (anime)
3. Jujutsu Kaisen (anime)
4. Succession

Concerts/Events

1. rip
2. Noname and Boots Riley’s virtual event on political revolution
3. NU FMO’s virtual fall speaker event with Angela Davis

Video Games

1. Tetris. I had yet another Tetris phase this past summer. It will happen again.
2. Runescape. I tried Old School Runescape again in a fit of nostalgia, and it made me sad, because online interactions aren’t as exciting. I miss the feeling of making new friends on the internet instead of browsing insta and twitter. I’ve been trying to recreate that experience through Discord servers, but it doesn’t hit the same as befriending random people in the Lumbridge cow pasture or talking shit in Al Kharid duels.
3. Animal Crossing: New Horizons. I spent 130 hours playing ACNH this year and I genuinely don’t know if I enjoyed it that much because it became a grind. I was spaced out the entire time.
4. Mario Kart. I started trying to speedrun Rainbow Road for a while and made it above average on the charts. But I seek more. I need glory.

i kind of plateaued though.

1. Hades. This game brought me so much joy and fun. The story is achingly well-written and animated, the voice acting is perfect, every character is vivid and unique. Ahhh!!! Thanks @ Andrew and Christoph for getting me to play it.

so true, Chaos. so true.

1. Ace Attorney. I bought the AA trilogy when it was on sale and promptly disappeared for an entire weekend. I’ve been trying to take it easy ever since, but it’s very endearing so far.

Podcasts

I don’t really listen to podcasts anymore :( I just always find myself preferring music.

Food/Drink

these are just some of the things I frequently ate / heavily enjoyed

1. 10q fried chicken sandwiches (with extra daikon)
2. H-Mart Korean hot dogs. They’re closing the stand at Niles H-Mart and I’m really sad about it. :(
3. bopngrill umami burgers always blow my mind
4. Hand-pulled noodles, because my mom and I finally figured out how to make them
5. Shang Noodle’s sour cabbage soup (my dad drives 2.5 hours to visit me and I’m pretty sure this soup is a big reason why)
6. Cafecito cortaditos

Music albums

1. Historian, Lucy Dacus
2. Circles, Mac Miller
3. Marigold, Pinegrove
4. MOJO, Evann McIntosh
5. The Slow Rush, Tame Impala
6. græ, Moses Sumney. It has taken me a while to understand this album, just because the sounds and lyrics are so varied and a little on the experimental side. That’s why I think, at the core, it’s about demanding multiplicity and rejecting concise definition. Sumney has spoken a lot about how journalists always look to get fast descriptions of him, and how depth is difficult to market and advertise. You always have to package and define your identities for others to perceive you, especially in regards to sexuality and gender — but being ‘gray’ and ambiguous can be a form of resistance. On one of the album’s tracks, Taiye Selasi says: “I insist upon my right to be multiple — even more so, I insist upon the recognition of my multiplicity . . . dissatisfaction seems like the natural byproduct of identification.”
7. The Downward Spiral, Nine Inch Nails
8. color theory, Soccer Mommy
9. Clean, Soccer Mommy
10. Present, gny
11. RAW PHILLIPPINE LOVE SONG BEAT TAPE, Similarobjects
12. French Exit, TV Girl
13. Juicebox, Mac Ayres
14. 2017–2019, Against All Logic
15. 2012–2017, Against All Logic
16. Changes, Justin Bieber
17. 3.15.20, Childish Gambino
18. Fuck the World, Brent Faiyaz
19. Your Woman, Sunshine Anderson
20. Stay Pretty, Pretty Boy Aaron
21. bandaids, keshi
22. KIKI, Kiana Ledé
23. WHAT WE DREW, Yaeji
24. You And Your Friends, Peach Pit
25. The New Abnormal, The Strokes
26. Fetch the Bolt Cutters, Fiona Apple
27. SAWAYAMA, Rina Sawayama. I love the way she goes from EDM pop to disco to Evanescence late 2000’s vibes. This album only gets better with time.
28. Flood, RICEWINE
29. ep seeds, eevee
30. Two Five, Bolbbalgan4
31. Adventure, Momoko Kikuchi
32. On Guitar, Masayoshi Tanaka
33. For You, Tatsuro Yamashita. someday I’ll get my hands on a Tatsuro Yamashita cassette tape and lose my mind.
34. LOVELY SUNDAY, The Chairs. this was a perfect summer album.
35. Heaven to a Tortured Mind, Yves Tumor
36. Hot Pink, Doja Cat
37. Mama’s Gun, Erykah Badu
38. LP, Discovery
39. Nonadaptation, Se So Neon. I found this from ilovesmokingmid’s instagram story and it’s so good! I think the vocalist has a more fragile voice that becomes interesting when paired with the harder rock sounds that they incorporate.
40. Green, Hiroshi Yoshimura
41. Sakura, Susumu Yokota
42. Superclean, Vol. I; The Marías
43. Today’s, June
44. Here I Stand, Usher
45. EVERYTHING, Kota the Friend
46. Redlands, Shalfi
47. Homey, Chon
48. LOVETHEISM, Haru Nemuri
49. Black Turns Grey, Black Hill and Eensdenkend
50. Neuromantic, Yukihiro Takahashi
51. She Already Decided, Smino
52. Ghosts, mitsume
53. Something to Tell You, HAIM
54. Northtown, Shamir
55. ‘Nuff Said, Nina Simone
56. Night Cruising 2018, Fishmans
57. MANGOTALE, Shawn Wasabi
58. boy., offonoff
59. To Let A Good Thing Die, Bruno Major
60. nervous, Jonah Yano
61. Blue, Joni Mitchell
62. Indigo, River Tiber
63. Ungodly Hour, Chloe x Halle. I listened to this album on repeat last summer on drives to downtown Chicago, with the windows down on Lake Shore Drive.
64. A Muse In Her Feelings, dvsn
65. Somewhere In Between, kennytheking
66. Sound & Color, Alabama Shakes
67. Musique de Nuit, Ballaké Sissoko and Vincent Segal
68. The Album, Teyana Taylor
69. Mordechai, Khruangbin
70. Runestape, Beats by Tickle. I went on a Runescape OST kick this summer. I regret nothing. Like I said earlier, I miss those days.
71. Trees etc., naran ratan
72. Bleached Waves, Zoon. I found this album from a playlist and it’s really beautiful. The artist calls it ‘moccasin-gaze,’ which is his name for First Nations-influenced shoegaze.
73. Saint Cloud, Waxahatchee
74. Agust D, self-titled
75. no song without you, HONNE
76. I’M UUGLY, Duckwrth
77. an XTRA UUGLY Mixtape, Duckwrth
78. D-2, Agust D
79. Maison, Jiwoo
80. Love Yourself ‘Answer’, BTS
81. 華麗なるポピュラー・エレクトーン, Shigeo Sekito
82. ‘Animal Crossing’ Series: Music for Piano, daigoro789
83. The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild for Piano, Franco Albertini
84. Girl Sense, OOHYO
85. Adventure, OOHYO. I listened to this album a lot over the summer on evening drives to Niles H-Mart. I’m realizing that listening to music in the car alone is one of my favorite things.
86. Far From The Madding City, OOHYO
87. dawn, mxmtoon
88. Punisher, Phoebe Bridgers
89. folklore, Taylor Swift. I think this album is a handful of tracks too long, but I really like the very gentle-but-firm production. Her voice here is natural and relaxed. The lyrics aren’t bad either.
90. Ho, why is you here?, Flo Milli
91. I Hear Voices in my Head… They’re Singing, Yoshi
92. RINA, Rina Sawayama
93. A Collection Of Fleeting Moments And Daydreams, Orion Sun. There isn’t a single bad song on this. Summer summer summer feelings. It’s so easygoing and fun.
94. What Could Possibly Go Wrong, Dominic Fike
95. Who 250, vlush
96. Deantoni Parks / Technoself Live at Clouds Hill, Deantoni Parks
97. cafe a.m., Mr. Hong, pastels
98. COWBOY BEBOP (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack), SEATBELTS
99. Limbo, Aminé
100. Suga, Megan Thee Stallion
101. Invasion of Privacy, Cardi B
102. Queen, Nicki Minaj
103. Introspection, UMI
104. All Bad Things Have Ended — Your Lunch Included, Vegyn
105. Compilation 1.1, Celeste
106. Funkadelic, self-titled
107. Maggot Brain, Funkadelic
108. INDUSTRY GAMES, CHIKA
109. Eyes Closed., Bria
110. DIAL UP CD: (Side A), DIAL UP
111. Sarah, Kirara. I got a bit more into house music this year.
112. Fairy Tale, Synthion
113. It Is What It Is, Thundercat
114. Eden, Joshua Malilay
115. Candid, Whitney
116. I Put A Spell On You, Nina Simone
117. Prince, self-titled
118. Lianne La Havas, self-titled
119. Ceres & Calypso in the Deep Time, Candy Claws
120. Everything You Wanted, Mother Tongues
121. Late Night Feelings, Mark Ronson. Sad party songs are my favorite and this album is full of them. “True Blue” is mesmerizing.
122. With Love, Ralfi Pagán. Pagán was a 70’s r&b artist. His Spotify bio opens with “Ralfi Pagán passed without making a significant mark on the music industry, but not because he didn’t try.” I still think about that. I’m a big fan of his song “Ooo Baby Baby.”
123. Ralfi Pagán, self-titled
124. Smile, Katy Perry
125. Whole New Mess, Angel Olsen
126. Merzbeat, Merzbow
127. 1999, Rich Brian
128. CTV3: Cool Tape Vol. 3, Jaden
129. pop songs 2020, BUMPER
130. TURN OFF THE LIGHT, Kim Petras
131. MOONCHILD, NIKI
132. Cheers!Land, The Chairs
133. Atlanta Millionaires Club, Faye Webster
134. “和自己對話”實驗專輯, JJ Lin. I had this on repeat for a week. How is his voice so tender…I love it
135. Ugly Beauty, Jolin Tsai
136. The Ascension, Sufjan Stevens
137. Nectar, Joji
138. Troupeau bleu, Cortex. just some very nice jazz music
139. THE ALBUM, BLACKPINK. Yes. I got a bit into K-pop this year. Mostly girl groups. There’s something about 4–9+ women singing in unison that makes me either melt into the floor or dance or both.
140. BLACKPINK IN YOUR AREA, BLACKPINK
141. [#], LOONA
142. TO FEEL ALIVE EP, Kali Uchis
143. Summer Nights, TWICE
144. Morioh, Shalfi
145. Superman, Runa Laila
146. dusk, mxmtoon
147. Wonder, Billy Lemos
148. Natsume’s Book of Friends Piano Collection, Cat Trumpet
149. Apolonio, Omar Apollo
150. Water Signs, Dani
151. SuperGood, Duckwrth
152. Anime, Trauma and Divorce, Open Mike Eagle
153. The Red — The 1st Album, Red Velvet
154. Windflower, Herb Ellis and Remo Palmier
155. Positions, Ariana Grande
156. No Shape, Perfume Genius
157. Set My Heart On Fire Immediately, Perfume Genius
158. Starsick EP, Maude Latour
159. always, keshi
160. Delicious, No Worries, RICEWINE and Nikodimos
161. Basement Bhangra, DJ Rekha
162. Bebop, Saib
163. Flowtaku #2: Space Cowboy, Twizzie Ramos
164. BE, BTS
165. Good News, Megan Thee Stallion
166. By Myself, Abdul Wadud. I found this through a random NYT article about cello. I’ve been thinking about cello a lot lately because I spent so much time on it in high school and haven’t made much room in my life for it since. I really miss playing in a chamber ensemble and hope to make a group with friends someday :(
167. Plastic Hearts, Miley Cyrus
168. Girl Eats Sun, Hope Tala
169. elated!, Bea Miller
170. 1000 Backyard Pools, Harry Teardrop. It’s cool seeing Asian Americans in pop punk.
171. life, God with us, Zeauxi
172. Boy in Jeans, Ryan Beatty
173. The Leo Sun Sets, Serena Isioma
174. Private Energy, Helado Negro. I wrote about this album for class and did some research on the cover art, because it’s just hands hugging an imperceptible person in a suit of tinsel. He (Lange) explained that he calls these suits ‘tinsel mammals’ and they help emphasize the idea that “we can love something without knowing what it is…letting people draw their own interpretations of who and what they were and why were they even there.”
175. Dreaming of David, Ryan Beatty
176. Wonder, Shawn Mendes. This album is so bad. Please do not listen to it.
177. Eyes Wide Open, TWICE
178. evermore, Taylor Swift
179. Cigarettes After Sex, self-titled
180. Cry, Cigarettes After Sex
181. [12:00], LOONA
182. KBS Piano Four Hands Vol. 3, Namyeon Lee and Sohyung Kim. This is just a really soft and soothing piano EP that includes a surprisingly nice rendition of of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.
183. SOFT STORM, Sunset Rollercoaster
184. Beyond Mediocrity, 9m88
185. Real Love Is…, The Chairs
186. Ambush On All Sides, Jade Bridge. My friend Ethan recommended me this album. It’s a traditional Chinese ensemble and was really neat. He and I have been friends since 6th grade. 6th grade! That’s almost 10 years. We still hang out whenever I come home from school, along with a few others. I’m reaching the point in my life where some of my friendships with others have begun to feel like entities of their own — things that grow and evolve; things that constantly provide support and perspective; things foundational to the people we were, are, and will be. In fact, a lot of the things on this list were recommended to me by or consumed with my friends. So I guess that’s a nice way to close this out.